21 Days- His Voice

I haven't given up on my Lent reading and pondering. The last few chapters didn't have writing assignments more pondering thoughts.

Today though it had a bit of writing so I thought I would share this.

Learning to recognize the voice of the Lord in your life is difficult. Sometimes it is because the world is racing around us, while other times it is because we are too stubborn to listen. I try to listen to him to walk the right path but like many I am a stubborn woman. If you do not believe this ask my husband, he can tell you in detail about the stubborn streak I have in me.

The Lord often has to beat me over the head with answers. Like the time I was trying to decide whether I should serve a mission or not and I had experience after experience that had given me an answer but I was too stubborn and blind to figure that out. It took a straight answer and what felt like a rolling pin to the head for His words to get to me.  

It was the same later when I started dating Christian. Things were moving so quickly there and I was nervous. I prayed. Got an answer. Prayed about it again. And it took another knock of the rolling pin to make me believe in the answer that I got.

I wish I could say that I am getting better, that I listen the first time and that is that but much like my four year old child I am as stubborn as ever and it takes a while to realize that others know best. I hope to get better, I know I must get better to work on my discipleship and maybe one day it won't take a rolling pin to get through to me, maybe it will only be a spatula!

21 days- Never Stopping, Ever Searching

Today's assignment was to think about a time when I had to find strength beyond my own. I think the one that most comes to mind is when I was pregnant. I was so sick during my pregnancy that it was difficult to do anything at all. I don't think I ever prayed as much for strength as during my pregnancy. There are still days I wonder how I made it through and I did. I know it isn't much but it was enough for me.

21 Days- A Common Thread

Today's task is simple. To write my testimony of Christ.

I not only believe in Christ I believe Him. I know that as I trust him I will be blessed. I will be buoyed up in the hard times and he will rejoice with me at all other times. He is the first I turn to. He has helped me so many countless times and each time I am filled with his love and I know He lives. I am grateful for Him and His sacrifice. I know that as I continue to listen and follow Him I will be blessed. I often think of the song lyrics, "I believe in Christ, so come what may." For a long time I thought those were scary words to sing, I didn't want to have bad things happen. But I have learned that with Christ I can weather any storm and that line in the song has a whole new meaning now.  He is my Lord, my King, my Savior, and my friend. Yes, I believe in Christ.

Mom's chore chart

 Growing up both Christian and I had to do chores. This is something that we both feel was beneficial to us and something that would be beneficial to our kids so our kids have chore charts. Each day they have to do chores around the house like cleaning their rooms, making beds, sweeping the kitchen, cleaning the bathroom sinks, sorting laundry, and in one particular case eating their dinner in under 45 minutes.

The kids earn stickers on the chart or frowny faces, depending on if they did their chores or not. At the end of the week they can turn those stickers in for beads and turn those beads in for prizes or money. It is a great system. But see a few months ago we had a break down. There was crying and yelling and "mom doesn't have to do any chores."  I just had to laugh at that and then we decided to show the kids that mom does do chores. This may not have been the best parenting decision that I have ever made but that next Sunday my chore chart went on the fridge next to theirs. Instead of being one page long mine was four pages long.

  It included things like: make bed, laundry, clean breakfast dishes, feed baby, errands,  make lunch, pick up kids from preschool, take kids to kung fu, etc. There were a total of 36 jobs on the chart and I was really careful to make sure to do all of them. At the end of the week I earned over 200 beads and I think the lesson was learned. We haven't heard any more "mom doesn't have to do chores" and everyone else seems to do all their chores.  So it may not have been my most stellar moment as a parent but it seemed to work.

In fact the other day I had just finished the morning routine of getting everyone up, fed, and out the door when I turned to James and said, "James being a mom is a hard job."  "I know" he answered. "How do you know?"  "I watch you."  

That boy is going to make someone a great husband one day.

21 Days- Take His Name

When I was twenty-one I went on a mission for my church. I remember standing in the lines at the training center handing over the necessary paperwork and receiving  the different items that we would need during our stay. I  remember in particular a manila envelope which contained my missionary plaque.
This simple black plaque bore my name Hermana Bellamy and then bellow that it bore another name- JesuCristo.

I think it was then that I truly understood the promise I made as I took the sacrament each week. Here was a living tangible way that I took the name of Christ on myself. I was now his representative. I wore his name night and day and when people read my name they also saw his. It was a good burden to bare. It taught me how to truly live my life. If I wanted to people to learn of Christ and come unto him I had to live as he did. I had to truly become a follower of Christ- a Christian.

I don't wear that tangible item anymore, but I need to make sure the thought still is there. I may not have a black name tag but each week I covenant to take his name upon myself. This means I need to live a life that is worthy of his name.

I remember as a child my dad would always tell me, "Remember you're a Bellamy." Bellamy's were strong, honest, brave, and dependable. My husband's family has a similar motto that we quote in our family home evenings, "Be smart. Be fair. Be clean. Be true. Be a Bradley." Both of these names I carry mean something. I have taken them on me and I don't want to let either set of parents down with my actions. To truly take upon me the name of Christ I must do the same thing.

I have a good start. I have two good family names that have given me a strong foundation to build on and for that I thank my parents and my in-laws.

The good thing about this lesson and reading for the day was I got to sit back and truly look at my actions. Was I living up to the sacramental covenants made or was letting down not only my earthly family but my heavenly one as well?  This is one of the things I am liking about this project. I am a good church going girl. We have family prayer and scripture study, we attend the temple and our meetings. But like most sometimes I think some of the smaller things slip by in the day to day actions of our lives. I am grateful for this chance I have to reassess where I am and make the course corrections needed to become a better wife, mother, and follower of the Savior.

Some thoughts on Dickens

My first exposure to Charles Dickens was when I was six or so and KUTV aired Mickey's Christmas Carol. I thought the story was fun and loved it. I remember rewinding the tape so many times to rewatch our copy. I even remember the commercials that were on the program.  Anyway that was my exposure to Dickens until I was in fourth grade and my teacher gave me a copy of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens for Christmas.  I was so excited to get home to read the story. I remember staying up late into the night to read and realizing I didn't like it. 

Most people would chalk this up to being ten years old when I read it but the problem is this never changed. It didn't change when I read Oliver Twist and Tale of Two Cities in high school. It didn't change when I read Bleak House in college. It may be blasphemous for an English teacher and major to say this but I hated Dickens. 

Wait I take that back. I don't hate him per se. I actually love his stories. I love watching the BBC/Masterpiece theater versions. I feel myself drawn in (even if they are basically the same story over and over again) and I love the characters. I just don't like his writing style.

Which brings me to why I am even posting this. My neighborhood book club announced they would be reading Our Mutual Friend for the month of March. I was super excited, not because I got to read Dickens, but because here was a book I could finally get on the Kindle for less then I could buy it. I downloaded it and went to work. Yeah it took me a week to get through the first twenty pages. I still couldn't slug through his style. 

So I went to my old standby, the movie. I am sitting here watching the movie getting ready to discuss a book I couldn't read at book club tonight. I'll be honest, I'll admit I didn't read it and outline the reasons why. I will also talk about how much I loved the story. How the story of redemption and love is incredible. How their is a kind Jew in the story...way ahead of the times there Dickens. How there are strong women...something he didn't do earlier in his career.  And, what I believe to be his greatest strength, taking seemingly random story lines and weave them together into a classic tale.

So I won't be picking up any other Dickens' books anytime soon but keep those BBC movies coming! 

21 Days- Come and See

Come Follow Me by Simon Dewey

Scriptures for the day: 16 Now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.17 And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men. 18 And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him. --Mark 1:16-18

38 Then Jesus turned, and saw them following, and saith unto them, What seek ye? They said unto him, Rabbi, (which is to say, being interpreted, Master,) where dwellest thou? 39 He saith unto them, Come and see. They came and saw where he dwelt, and abode with him that day: for it was about the tenth hour. --John 1:38-39

"Come follow me a simple phrase." I have been singing that for as long as I can remember yet as I ponder it I wonder if it is truly simple to follow Him. Today's invitation was to ponder what keeps me from coming unto Christ. You know I don't think it is a big sin or a huge doubt. Like most I live a very busy life. I fill every minute with what I hope are good things. I spend time playing with my children and husband. I clean my home. I work on projects that I have always wanted to get done. I fill my net with good things and, like Simon and Andrew, these things provide health and wellness for my family. Yet I also know that I sometimes get caught up in the day to dayness of it all and don't take time to really let the Savior into my life. There are days that I just forget to get down and formally thank Him for the wonderful love he has brought into my life. I need to take time to thank him for the wonderful things. To truly take time to marvel at His creations. 

I know that following him is a simple thing but in the world I live in today it is complex. I find that things like making bottles, changing diapers, making dinner, cleaning up toys, and the rest of my day to day life seem to crowd out the simple things of just following him and coming to see how to live my life better. It was those day to day things that stopped me from finishing this book before, So now I am here trying to put them aside on the first step to following him. 

So what is it for you? What do you find impedes you from coming and seeing? 

21 Days- An introduction

Okay so remember this post when I couldn't come up with anything to observe Lent? Yeah for two additional weeks after Lent began I racked my brain, trying to come up with something I could do. Then last week I had an idea. I was almost half way through the Lent season and because of this I decided to take a new approach.

Five years ago I worked for a publishing company called Deseret Book. While I was there a book came out called 21 Days Closer to Christ by Emily Freeman. I was intrigued with this book which gave some scriptures to read and an assignment to ponder each day. I purchased it with my handy dandy employee discount and then it sat on bedside table for months. I made many valiant tries to tackle this book but for one reason or another it never happened.

So for the last three weeks of Lent I am going to tackle this book. Starting today I will be reading a chapter and then responding to the invitation at the end of the chapters. I will be writing my feelings and such down here.

Now those of you who enjoy my very witty writing and humor need not worry. I am sure there will be other posts here too. Recipes, spring crafts, humorous stories about my parenting. All of those can still be enjoyed during the next three weeks, just I am also going to take a closer look at my relationship with the Savior and hopefully enrich my Easter season.

So that is it. For the next twenty-one days I will be reading, pondering and recording my thoughts and feelings here. I invite you all to come on the journey with me.

What do I do now?

Disclaimer- My husband says he would still like me even if these disjointed thoughts made no sense. See that is why I keep him around.

So last night I read that my quarterback is leaving my Colts and I find myself wondering if I can even be a Colts fan anymore.

Before you call me a fair weathered let me lay out my case.

I grew up watching football. I loved it and I remember with great fondness attending U of U games with my dad and having him explain the rules to me. I love watching games with my children now and explaining the rules to them. I grew up watching the 49ers in the years of Montana and Young. I fell in love with them and have been a Niners fan since I was about four. As I got older I started looking at other teams to. Though I still continued to cheer for the 49ers you have to admit they had some pretty rocky seasons that left fans little to cheer for. I still clung to the team though and cheered them on year after pitiful year.

Then one Saturday evening I was watching a playoff game with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and though I don't remember much about the game or the team I do remember one thing...I thought their coach looked like a pirate. I began following Tony Dungy and realized I liked his style. I became a Dungy fan and not a Buccaneers fan and I fondly referred to him as The Pirate.

Then he was fired. I thought that was a great injustice because I didn't believe that Tampa Organization was giving him what he needed. And yes, I do believe they should listen and am always disappointed when they don't. I was determined to follow this man where he ever he went. Luckily he went to Indy, another team I had been following because of their up and coming quarterback Peyton Manning.

As they stay in the story books the rest was history. Here was a franchise I could get behind. A coach I love. A quarterback with great promise. And a team I could believe in. They didn't disappoint and I found myself once again with a team to cheer on with great fervor.

Now we are here. Dungy retired but I can still watch him on Fox or CBS so that is fine but today the Colts let Manning go. I understand the decision. But at the same time I think about how much Andrew Luck could learn Manning's tutelage and I just shake my head at these young kids that come in and don't think they can learn anything.

Okay is anyone still here? That has been a lot of rambling to get to the point I am trying to make. I don't know if I can be a Colts fan anymore. I discovered their camp because of two men who are no longer there and I don't feel the love anymore. I don't think I can hang onto them as I have the Niners.

So here is to hoping that Peyton ends up in San Francisco where I can cheer for him more than I did before. But I now having an opening for a favorite AFC team and will be taking applications. Just so you know, the Patriots and Broncos need not apply.

Half way there

So this year I made the goal to lose twenty pounds this year. I have a feeling that I am going to have to readjust that goal. Yesterday I went to the gym for my training session. It was time for weight and measurements, my least favorite gym visit. But I guess this new life change is working out. I had lost ten pounds, at least a half an inch of everywhere measured (in some cases an inch and a half) and dropped my body fat by 3% taking me from an unhealthy percent to a fair one (yeah I know fair isn't anything to shout from the rough tops but I take what I can get).

Of course after the celebratory hug with my trainer Stacey she sent me right back to work and my muscles are aching today as a result of that work. But today I am content. Sometimes it is nice to see your hard work pay off.