No more excuses

I am a size 16. There I said it. I know that is not a surprise to those who know me. I have never been the thin girl. I have never been the athletic girl. I haven't even been the healthy girl. I have just always been overweight. It has bugged me and at times I would get up and do something about it but most times I just let it go telling myself I was too busy, too tired, too sick, or too fat to do anything about it.

My latest excuse was a good one but it was still excuse. Six months ago today I gave birth my son. I worked out through my entire pregnancy, in fact my trainer Eric was the second person I told about my pregnancy. Even though I was pregnant he pushed me hard. I remember running up and down those stupid stairs at the gym thinking, "Dude, I am pregnant let up." But he didn't. When he moved to Texas I continued my training with Stacy, a trainer who just happened to be pregnant. She pushed me so hard and even with the morning sickness I would still give her everything I had. My goal at that time wasn't weight loss but simply to stay healthy.

I worked out up until two days before I delivered Matthew. Most of that was walking loops around the mall hoping that would help my little one come faster-it didn't. Then like that I had a baby and my work out time was gone. I tried to get taking the baby for walks those first six weeks but quickly found excuse after excuse why I couldn't- the baby was asleep, I needed to sleep, I had an infection, I wasn't cleared to do any work outs. I also justified myself- I was nursing so I was losing those extra calories, I wasn't getting any sleep so I deserved that ice cream. I fit back into my pre-pregnancy pants so what did it matter. Then before I knew it the weight I had taken off after the birth was starting to come back.

Finally able to hit the gym again I started going three times a week, when I could work it around Matthew's nap time. At first this was easy. He was a champ napper in the morning and I could take James and be gone for an hour and when I arrived home he would still be asleep. I thought I had found a grove but then his nap schedule changed and he is not quite old enough to go to the day care at the gym.

I started relying on my old excuses and my old friend chocolate. And all the good work I had done was gone again.

Then came the new year and the new start. And despite the crazy schedule I decided that it was time to make me a priority.

It didn't set in until Wednesday morning though how much I was hurting myself with my excuses. Because Matthew's nap schedule is just not what it used to be I decided to work out on our elliptical in the basement. I turned on the Biggest Loser and there theme- No more excuses. I sat and listened to some of these contestants who weigh as much as I do giving the same excuses that I had. I realized right then how important it was for me to do this. How I needed to commit really commit this time. None of the false starts I have had the past six months.

Yes I still have a six month old that requires most of my time. Yes I still have James at home that needs help and supervision. Yes I still have two girls who need help with homework and to be driven to various activities. Yes I still have a husband who I need to help support with his own weight loss goals. Yes I still have a house that has an uncanny ability to get messy no matter how often I clean it. And that is on top of all the errand running and other daily life goals that need to get done. But I use them as excuses anymore.

So this is it. Excuses are gone. It is going to be hard. But I am going to be down to 200 lbs by November 1st. Twenty pounds. I know it really isn't a lot to lose for some people in 11 months but it is the goal that I have set. If I surpass it then great. But that is it. I will attend the gym five times a week. I will eat better. The excuses, no matter how good they are, are now gone. I want to be there for my kids. I want to be able to chase them and play with them. I want to have another fifty years with my husband and I am realizing now that it up to me.

So here it is- NO MORE EXCUSES