Lent begins.

I read a comment this morning on facebook that basically said that Mormons don't celebrate Lent because being a Mormon is basically like having lent 24/7 and that the only thing left to give up is dessert.

I chuckled a bit about that then this Mormon girl went back to racking her brain on what to give up for Lent this year. Yes I am a Mormon and yes I celebrate Lent.

It all started about seven years ago when my dad mentioned something about Lent and we decided to start observing it. Every year since then I have observed Lent. Most years I give up chocolate (a rather big sacrifice) and one year I went as far as giving up sugar all together. This year though I know my limits and having already given up some of my favorite foods while trying to lose weight s0 I know that if I gave up chocolate this year I would be just setting myself up for failure.

So last night Christian and I sat and came up of a list of possible things I give up for Lent. They included some of the following: laundry, bathing, cleaning, running errands, the diet, the baby...yeah the list got a little more crazy after that, though when Christian mentioned cheese I think I might have cried a little. I cling to cheese as much as I do to chocolate, hey we all have our crutches.

So anyway there I was trying to figure out what to give up. It continued through this morning and still I had nothing. So that is that. I will probably figure it out in a few days. But until then I will keep racking my brain to figure it out. Oh, and I welcome suggestions.

Two steps forward-one step back

So last month I talked about my goal to lose 20 lbs this year and how I was done with excuses. Well January went really well. I started working out with my lovely trainer, Stacey, again and I worked out five days a week every week. I logged my food over at Sparkpeople.com and lost 7 lbs.

I was feeling good. I was feeling strong. Then came February 1st. I worked out with Stacey that morning as planned but then came home and collapsed. Turns out the cold which my kids have managed to avoid hit me with a vengeance. I was down with it Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

No problem, I thought, I will just start again on Monday. Yeah. Sunday morning I was sitting with the girls in stake conference when I started sweating. My legs were aching and I knew I couldn't sit in that cold metal chair for another hour and twenty minutes. So I gathered up the girls and slid our way out of the row, apologizing to people as we went.

I got home and sat the girls in front of the tv with their brother to watch scripture stories while I collapsed on the bed. I should mention that my husband was sick to, the reason he stayed home from church with the boys. I spent the rest of the day either so cold I had to pile four blankets on top of me or so hot that I was happy to sit in front of an open freezer just to stop the heat from radiating. Yeah it was a happy day.

The next day was more of the same. Finally my husband convinced me to go to the doctor (I hate going to the doctor. I avoid it all costs. Usually this is more detrimental to my health that not going but I have not learned my lesson yet) and he took my to the insta-care while my parents watched our kids.

Sure enough I had an infection and that on top of the second round of the cold has put me out this week.

So yeah. My great January has fizzled into a lackluster February.

Come Monday though I am getting on that elliptical and I also hope that the grilled cheese sandwiches I have indulged in this week didn't do too much to my shrinking waist line.

Conflicted

Warning- This is a post that has some thoughts that may not jive with yours. That is fine. I am of the opinion that we can have different thoughts and ideas and still live in peace and harmony. I know it is a different world that I inhabit but a girl can always dream.

Me at the Komen 3-day in Cleveland. 2009

Growing up I heard stories about my grandmother's breast cancer and all that she endured while my mom was little. I learned of the horrors of cancer at an early age and watched my mom go in for yearly screenings and remember fretting when her scans would come back abnormal.

Years later I started involving myself in breast cancer fund raisers. I got my family together and we participated in Komen's Race for the Cure. I joined with good friends across the country and raised close to $6,000 then walked 120 miles all to help in the fight against a disease that had become a family enemy.

Then this week I heard that Komen, an organization that I have held in high respect, decided to pull money for breast screenings from Planned Parenthood. I have some very conflicted thoughts on this.

Somehow Planned Parenthood has become synonymous with abortion. Something which I find troubling. I know of several people when their insurance wouldn't cover it have turned to PP for birth control. PP provides several services for low income families including prenatal care. I don't agree with everything they do but I am grateful that they provide information to women and families on how to take care of themselves.

I now find myself wondering what I should do. I feel that Komen's actions are contrary to what they stand for. I don't think they should let politics on either side of the spectrum influence how or where they spend their money. Their goal has always been to educate women. To help teach women how to take care of themselves. To empower women to stand with others who themselves have suffered through horrible diseases and give them the chance to be inspirations to others.

I don't know what to do anymore. I want to keep supporting Komen. I want to be excited about the Race for Cure in three months. I want to look forward to one day participating in the three day again. But right now I am simply disappointed. Disappointed in an organization that I have always admired.

I know that not supporting Komen would just be hurting other women and I don't want to do that. I also know there are other organizations out there who could use my money.

Until then I will just wait and hope that things resolve themselves in a way that is best for women and not for politics.

Holding my baby close

I got some distressing news today, a cousin's six-month-old baby had a brain tumor removed last night. He is currently recovering and his parents and family are anxiously waiting tests.

Since I heard that news today it has put so much in perspective. My kids are often crazy. Yelling and screaming at each other. Running amok and destroying the once clean house. Complaining about what food is made, what chores need to be done, or what movie to watch. Often I am driven to frustration or chocolate with these four crazy monkeys. But here is the thing, they are healthy. I don't need to watch any of them suffer and be helpless to help them. I am so grateful tonight for that gift. I am grateful for the house that can't stay clean, for the loud laughter and crazy yelling. Though I am not so grateful for the fighting but I am grateful that they are here to fight. I am holding them close tonight. And I am praying for the quick recovery for a baby in Denver tonight. May he quickly regain his smiles and his cheery demeanor.

Recipe- Pina Colada Cake

Every year since I came home from my mission my family and I have celebrated Three Kings Day. I make traditional Puertorican dishes and then the Three Kings visit and leave presents in our shoes. This year instead of making flan for dessert I went another way with a Pina Colada cake. I never had this in PR so it probably isn't Puertorican but I figured the flavors were close enough to count.

This was the best looking cake I ever made. It was sweet and decadent and everyone enjoyed it- even my 7 year old who claims she prefers only natural sugars. So here it is the recipe-

1 box yellow cake mix
1 box instant vanilla pudding & pie filling mix
1/2 can Cream of Coconut
1/2 cup pineapple juice (you can also make this a tad more adult and use Rum)
1/3 cup cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1 can crushed pineapple, well drained

Preheat oven to 350º. In a large mixing bowl, combine cake mix, pudding mix, ½ the coconut cream, pineapple juice, oil, and eggs. Beat on medium speed for about 2 minutes. Stir in the drained pineapple. Pour into a well greased and floured 10-inch bundt pan. Bake for 50. Cool slightly.

Topping-

1/2 cup pineapple juice

1/2 can of Cream of Coconut

1 box of vanilla pudding

Mix and set aside. After flipping the cake and cooling slightly spread on the top of the cake covering all areas. Then top with maraschino cherries and pineapple slices. Chill.

No more excuses

I am a size 16. There I said it. I know that is not a surprise to those who know me. I have never been the thin girl. I have never been the athletic girl. I haven't even been the healthy girl. I have just always been overweight. It has bugged me and at times I would get up and do something about it but most times I just let it go telling myself I was too busy, too tired, too sick, or too fat to do anything about it.

My latest excuse was a good one but it was still excuse. Six months ago today I gave birth my son. I worked out through my entire pregnancy, in fact my trainer Eric was the second person I told about my pregnancy. Even though I was pregnant he pushed me hard. I remember running up and down those stupid stairs at the gym thinking, "Dude, I am pregnant let up." But he didn't. When he moved to Texas I continued my training with Stacy, a trainer who just happened to be pregnant. She pushed me so hard and even with the morning sickness I would still give her everything I had. My goal at that time wasn't weight loss but simply to stay healthy.

I worked out up until two days before I delivered Matthew. Most of that was walking loops around the mall hoping that would help my little one come faster-it didn't. Then like that I had a baby and my work out time was gone. I tried to get taking the baby for walks those first six weeks but quickly found excuse after excuse why I couldn't- the baby was asleep, I needed to sleep, I had an infection, I wasn't cleared to do any work outs. I also justified myself- I was nursing so I was losing those extra calories, I wasn't getting any sleep so I deserved that ice cream. I fit back into my pre-pregnancy pants so what did it matter. Then before I knew it the weight I had taken off after the birth was starting to come back.

Finally able to hit the gym again I started going three times a week, when I could work it around Matthew's nap time. At first this was easy. He was a champ napper in the morning and I could take James and be gone for an hour and when I arrived home he would still be asleep. I thought I had found a grove but then his nap schedule changed and he is not quite old enough to go to the day care at the gym.

I started relying on my old excuses and my old friend chocolate. And all the good work I had done was gone again.

Then came the new year and the new start. And despite the crazy schedule I decided that it was time to make me a priority.

It didn't set in until Wednesday morning though how much I was hurting myself with my excuses. Because Matthew's nap schedule is just not what it used to be I decided to work out on our elliptical in the basement. I turned on the Biggest Loser and there theme- No more excuses. I sat and listened to some of these contestants who weigh as much as I do giving the same excuses that I had. I realized right then how important it was for me to do this. How I needed to commit really commit this time. None of the false starts I have had the past six months.

Yes I still have a six month old that requires most of my time. Yes I still have James at home that needs help and supervision. Yes I still have two girls who need help with homework and to be driven to various activities. Yes I still have a husband who I need to help support with his own weight loss goals. Yes I still have a house that has an uncanny ability to get messy no matter how often I clean it. And that is on top of all the errand running and other daily life goals that need to get done. But I use them as excuses anymore.

So this is it. Excuses are gone. It is going to be hard. But I am going to be down to 200 lbs by November 1st. Twenty pounds. I know it really isn't a lot to lose for some people in 11 months but it is the goal that I have set. If I surpass it then great. But that is it. I will attend the gym five times a week. I will eat better. The excuses, no matter how good they are, are now gone. I want to be there for my kids. I want to be able to chase them and play with them. I want to have another fifty years with my husband and I am realizing now that it up to me.

So here it is- NO MORE EXCUSES

New year resolutions

We have all seen the statistics and we have all been one of them. The majority of us will set goals for the next few days by the end of January most of us will have abandon those goals. With the craziness of life it is very easy to quickly brush these goals under the rug and never think of them again. So with that in mind let's be one on the statistics that keeps their goals. Here is what has worked for me

Write them down-A goal not written down is just a wish. Nothing more. It is nice to stop and think, oh I am going to lose 50 lbs this year, but that is just a thought. Write it down and then put it some place that you will see it often. I used to keep mine up at work, lying on my dresser at home, and a smaller version that is used as a book mark. This year they are posted on the fridge. This way I see them often and I am reminded of the promises I made to myself.

Make them manageable. For years I found myself failing at my resolutions. I would get discouraged and just stop. The goals were to lofty and just looking at them made me already feel like a failure. Then I discovered the trick that has helped me ever since. I have my yearly goals but then each monthly I make smaller goals that help me achieve the yearly ones. For example, let's say one of my goals is to get organized. Well for that in January I might say: I am going to clean the hall closet. Just the hall closet nothing more. Next month it might be go through the kitchen cupboards or drawers and get those done. Before you know it by the end of the year my house is organized and it wasn't a big stressor.

Remember you have 12 months- So what if you messed up in January? So what if you didn't do as well as you thought. You still have time. There are 12 months in a year and not every resolution or goal that you have has to be done by January 31. Pace your self and don't get discouraged. Some months you will do better than others, that is a given. But when it is not a good month don't give up. You still have plenty of time.

Reevaluate- The end of each month I sit down with my list of goals (both yearly and the monthly ones I set) and go over how I did that month. I look at what I need to do to improve and where I am succeeding. I can decide what needs to change then make those changes in the next month.

Have fun- In addition to all the 'life changing goals' that I set, I also fun goals. Stuff like, I am going to buy these books. Or I am going to get my passport. Stuff that is just fun and is easy to accomplish.

Remember this is for you. No one else. Make those changes in your life- you each can accomplish anything that you want.